Beyond Clinical Walls Podcast

Advocacy Across Arenas: Professor Alexandra Carter's Insights on Negotiation and Health

Dr. BCW - Dr. Curry-Winchell, M.D. Season 1 Episode 12

Have you ever felt like your voice is lost in the crowd, or struggled to advocate for your own needs? Professor Alexandra Carter joins us to illuminate the pathways to empowerment through the art of negotiation and self-advocacy. Drawing from her rich experience as a Columbia Law professor and director of Mediation Clinic, Professor Carter shares her transformative journey from a place of silence to leading individuals to find and amplify their own voices. Our discussion ventures into the realms of health, career, and personal life, showcasing negotiation as an indispensable tool for growth and self-empowerment. Professor Carter's expertise, paired with her work with NBC News' Know Your Value, offers actionable insights for women striving to ascend in their careers.

Role models can profoundly influence our lives, and this episode delves into the stories that have shaped our understanding of advocacy. I open up about my father's selfless community service and how it has woven into my personal fabric of advocacy. We also tackle the power of standing up for oneself, particularly in healthcare, as I recount a recent health experience that underscores the life-saving potential of self-advocacy. This chapter is an invitation to listeners to find inspiration in their own life narratives and take proactive steps in health, work, and at home.

To conclude, we share an uplifting tale of a guest's first colonoscopy, transforming a typically intimidating experience into one of empowerment and proactive health management. By embracing this narrative, we hope to dispel fears and promote a proactive approach to health care, while acknowledging the privilege that influences our experiences within the medical system. Professor Carter extends an invitation to connect through her daily motivational posts and at the upcoming TEDxReno event, intertwining her message of empowerment with the power of personal connections. Join us as we celebrate the strength of our voices and the profound impact they can have on our lives.

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Speaker 1:

Hello everyone, it's Dr BCW. Welcome to Beyond Clinical Walls. I am so excited today to introduce you to my guest, alexandra Carter. She is a clinical professor of law and the director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School. She is a world-renowned negotiation trainer for the United Nations, fortune 500 companies, us courts and federal agencies and more. In 2019, professor Carter was awarded the Columbia University Presidential Award for Outstanding Teaching, columbia University's highest teaching honor. Professor Carter's first book, ask for More 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything, was published by Simon Schuster on May 5th 2020 and became an instant Wall Street Journal business bestseller the first negotiation book solo authored by a woman. To make that list.

Speaker 1:

Professor Carter is a frequent media commentator on negotiation and pay equity, with appearances on Good Morning America, msnbc's Morning Joe and MSNBC Live Hardball with Chris Matthews, the CBS Early Show, bbs Radio and NPR Marketplace. Wow, that's just. It's amazing the fact that she has such a wide reach when I talk about all of the mediums that she's able to touch and help people. She is also a contributor for NBC News' Know your Value, a news site devoted to helping women grow in their careers and reach their full potential. Professor Carter, welcome to Beyond Clinical Walls. Thank you so much for joining me.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Beyond Clinical Walls. Thank you so much for joining me. Yes, indeed, professor Carter and I were talking about our real lives, the things that we do, and one thing that I really love is both of us bring forward a level of authenticity to everything we do. And so, as you know, I just finished a shift and you actually were a part of somewhat of healthcare as well. You just recently had a colonoscopy, so we're going to get into that. I would love for the listeners just to know a little bit more about you as we just start this conversation. Sure.

Speaker 2:

So lovely to be here. I am a lifelong New Yorker who moved to New Jersey for the sake of her marriage. In addition to being a professor, I'm a mom to a 13-year-old daughter who's a competitive swimmer, so I'm a swim mom on the weekends, and so I spend part of my time in the classroom with my students, who are brilliant and whom I absolutely love, and then in my spare time, like you, I travel around to different institutions helping people think about making negotiation accessible. So you know, I was a person who, growing up, didn't always feel that I had a seat at the table, that I deserved to have my voice be heard, and so really, my mission is to let people know that negotiation and self-advocacy are for everyone, and I want everyone to see themselves in it and to feel comfortable making their voices heard.

Speaker 1:

You know, when we talk about advocacy and really being able to increase accessibility, we are intertwined in so many different ways, because the big piece is you can have information, but if you can't access it or know what to do with it, you really aren't able to move that needle in whatever area that you're trying to achieve or goal and so forth.

Speaker 1:

And so the fact that you are traveling, really helping institutions, different groups, be able to share, how do you put such an important piece that is a part of everyday life and everything that you do? How do you put that forward? How do you really implement it so you can have, whether it's your health, whether it's your career, which we know are intermixed how do you put that forward? And so I am so excited just to have you and talk more. So we're going to kind of circle back into health and negotiation and just careers and being a mom and so forth, and so I would love for the listeners first to just know a little bit more of why you do what you do. We talked about what you do, but where does that come from? Where does that drive and passion live?

Speaker 2:

You know it's so interesting. I was thinking back even to childhood and thinking about, you know, during high school as a teenager, the things I loved to do, and one of the things I enjoyed doing was speech and debate. I was that kid in high school loved, like, writing my own stuff and delivering it. I was actually quite socially shy and awkward outside, you know. You know outside of that, but when I had something to say I found that I felt very comfortable speaking up. But you know, my best memory from high school actually wasn't going and winning a trophy for speech and debate. It was coaching a friend of mine who said I could never do that, I'm too shy, People won't listen to me. And I said they will and watch them. And we worked together and she got up and did it.

Speaker 2:

And that's when the joy that I felt in that moment I thought I need to get into some kind of profession where I can be coaching the greatness that I see in others out of them and helping them to see it as well. And so as I got through into college and then into law school, I discovered this field called mediation where, even as a lawyer, you can help people who are in the midst of really difficult conflicts, hear themselves and speak their voice and find a way to resolve it that feels true to them. Outside of the court system it feels subversive, you know, almost like I'm entering these legal spaces, but I'm helping people figure out their solution and their voice. And that brought me all the way back to high school when, instead of me doing the talking, I would love to coach other people so that they can say what they need to say, and that is what I do every day.

Speaker 2:

My job is all about empowerment. It's taking my students at Columbia, many of whom might be first generation college or professionals, many of whom may not have had these skills growing up at the dining room table and teaching them how to help other people, and simultaneously, then on the other side of the table, these folks coming through the court system who really may have felt totally disenfranchised by a lot of systems out there in their lives and they're expecting us to take their power and instead we're handing it back to them and saying, no, in this space, you get to decide. It's empowerment all the way around the table, and so that is why, as a lawyer, you know, in a profession where there's a lot of burnout and a lot of dissatisfaction. I wake up every day saying I love my job, I am doing what I was meant to do on this earth, and what a blessing.

Speaker 1:

It is a blessing and the fact that you are taking your skillset as a lawyer. This part hits home beyond and there's a pun on words beyond the legal arena that is normally present, and for me, when I think of like beyond clinical walls, that is so important. That is how you really put forward a new opportunity for others. Every form of education or access point shouldn't live in just one area. It should be sprinkled in all different parts and that's how you create that pipeline. That's how you create, you know, when you talk about your Columbia students but then you talk about others in the legal system, what can we do to really make advancements? And that is really kind of flipping the script and being able to think about disrupting what is the norm and finding new ways to reach people, because we are all different and we all have different opportunities in life or less opportunity in life, and so if we can really think about what way we can reach people, as many people as possible, that's what it's about and I love that. That's where that drive and that grid. And, to your point, when we talk about burnout at least for me in the healthcare space and it seems the same for you it seems like those who have been able to find something that really speaks to their soul and doesn't have, you know, have a one direction, feel that they can continue to have that passion and love that they felt when they first started, and I hope that for everyone to be able to find that.

Speaker 1:

And so, when we talk about disruption, you know I think it's a perfect segue into you will be speaking at the TEDx Reno, and we are so excited to have you, and we have you twice actually and so April 4th you're going to be doing, you'll be participating in a salon It'll be you and your daughter, I believe and then, on April 6th, you will also be delivering a TEDx talk, which I've had the opportunity to listen to and be on the speaker's prep committee, and I can just share with everyone. It is powerful, it is digestible and it's solution-oriented, and I'm so excited for everyone to listen. So can you tell me, professor Carter, what was your decision to decide to apply and join TEDxReno?

Speaker 2:

You know, this is the story of my life and the lives of so many, especially women. I know Somebody a friend of mine who had done a TEDxReno talk nominated me to apply. She actually said to me I think you would be wonderful. Her name is Laura Gassner-Otting. She had a very successful TEDx talk last year and this is, I feel like you know, again a big blessing. I'm surrounded by people who believe that when we uplift each other, we all succeed, and so Reno reached out to her to say do you know any wonderful people?

Speaker 2:

Your talk was so successful and she said I do, you should speak to my friend Alex. And so that right, combined with a lot of sweat, stanley, fabulous woman. And I'm telling her that my daughter and I are actually doing some speaking engagements together this year on self-advocacy. And her eyes light up and she says let's do a salon with you and your daughter talking about self-advocacy, especially for women and girls. And this whole thing has been about pie expansion, right, it's thinking about how many opportunities can we create to showcase others, to lift other voices. And so not only am I having my first TEDx experience this week, but my 13-year-old daughter is too, and can you think of anything better than you know inspiring the next generation of girls to see themselves on a stage someday and to know that they can make an impact with their voices too.

Speaker 1:

It is so powerful we forget that we are a constant role model in motion. For all that, you know, for our kiddos, for our coworkers, for just people who may not even know us but get to see us, whether it's on social media, tv or talking, there is a level of just, oh, I could do that, wow, she did that. And so every experience can lead to someone else being able to have an experience and to your point, having your daughter be able to see this. It creates that imagery, that blueprint of oh, yes, I can do that. And when I think about that, professor Carter, it makes me think of a story I shared with you. If we could all just kind of invest in that foundational piece, imagine what we can do for those coming up after us or even those that are coming along. And so I think of, like my father and I shared that story with you.

Speaker 1:

I grew up going to different events, helping communities, and I didn't know exactly why I was there, but I knew I was helping someone, and so that through line and that passion and love and blueprint has become and is still a part of my fabric, and so what you're doing for your daughter will yield dividends for her and for whoever she decides to showcase this as well. So it's a powerful narrative and playbook that you are creating for her and for the future as well, and I think that's such a powerful thing to mention. The other thing I wanted to highlight, you know, when you and I were talking about advocacy and we were talking about how it really does cross-pollinate it can be whether it's in the workspace, whether it's in the home, it's also in healthcare, and this is where you and I have so many synergies as well and so, really talking about how people can stand up for themselves and it's often in spaces that are very uncomfortable and so forth and in the healthcare space, a lot of times, a lot of patients feel uncomfortable, stating I don't understand what you're telling me, or can you say that again? Or I don't feel like you're listening to me, and I share those pieces, and you share also in just life, how you can advocate, and I think it's very important that we continue to push this as a vital part of our health, our mental and physical health, because when you can stand up for yourself, that is a gift that you are giving to yourself as well.

Speaker 1:

I would love for you to share. You know, you just recently had a health experience and I think this is a wonderful way to highlight the importance of this, because you just went through this experience and I think if people can hear that narrative as we talked about kind of that role modeling and so forth, I think it might, you know, save one life or make one person think I should get this done for my health. So can you share you know what you just went through.

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely so. I'm in my what I would call the later half of my 40s and my doctor, my wonderful primary care doctor I think I was sharing with you doctor, people ask me questions and and I feel quite held and supported. And so my doctor said to me at my last physical you know you really should get your first colonoscopy and I was. I was dreading this. I mean just, you know, naturally thinking about you know people talk about the prep Right that you go through, beforehand Right, and I think there's also this natural kind of discomfort thinking about like you know, elimination right and like that part of the body and having to go through all of that.

Speaker 2:

I'm just being very frank here.

Speaker 1:

And I'm glad you are, because that's you know what people are afraid of when I talk about oh, I need to, you know, have you go for your colonoscopy? You can see the eyes start to pop out like, oh, I've heard about that prep, and so this is really important for people to hear this.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So here I was thinking, and not for nothing also, but I'm a busy professional and I thought, oh my goodness, I have to take time out right to do this prep and then to be gentle with myself the day of the procedure because I'm going to be going under anesthesia. So I did it yesterday and, you know, as we were talking about a little bit before we got on, it was such an affirming experience. You know, people answered all my questions about the prep and then, once I arrived, you know I found myself feeling a little self-conscious. I came up to the desk and they said what are you here for today? And I tried to say as quietly as possible a colonoscopy.

Speaker 2:

And everybody, from the person at the front desk to the anesthesiologist and the doctor herself, said welcome to the club. You know you're getting your first one, like treating it with excitement and saying this is great that you're doing this for yourself. Welcome to the club. I've been there, we've all been there. This is such a fabulous thing you're doing. And so I did it and, you know, woke up and the doctor came over, answered any questions I had and she even wrote doctor. I have my little sheet here that I received from her and it says on it excellent prep in the handwriting here. And I thought to myself yes, I love getting a gold star. This doctor could tell this about me. And so I felt wonderful afterward, you know, and I got a clean bill of health, thank goodness. And so now I know that I've done this for myself and I feel really positively about the whole experience.

Speaker 1:

I love this. You know, often we hear about I'm busy, I don't have time for that, or sometimes I often hear I don't want to know if something's wrong, and so when we talk about the work that you and I do, it's important to advocate, but it's also important to know what, what. What are you advocating for? Whether it's a good outcome, a bad outcome, you've got to. You have to know that information, and one thing that I always share is your health is your most prized possession, so you can be the most successful. You can have all of these things going.

Speaker 1:

However, the world will stop if you have a health condition, and the part to remember is the earlier you can address it, the earlier you could do something about it, or you might have, like you said, a clean bill of health, and so I am grateful for you to share your experience, and I also want to highlight this piece I really love the fact that when you and I were talking about this before we went on, you were intentional with your words and you said you know I had a great experience.

Speaker 1:

I've had a great experience with female providers, but I'm also I know that I have a privilege and that that does not always happen to everyone else, and so thank you for addressing that, thank you for understanding that and the fact that you put that forward, and as I share this now, those who are listening will have even a deeper connection with you and also an understanding of your work and how it's lived in equity and understanding, and I think that's an important thing to highlight. So, professor Carter, thank you for joining Beyond Clinical Walls. It was a pleasure to have you. Is there anything as far as how can people reach out to you? Please feel free to share. Of course they're going to check you out at TEDxReno. I don't want to miss that, but let us please share with the listeners how they can find you and know more about your work.

Speaker 2:

Sure, thank you so much. It's been an honor, and thank you for reaching out to help promote, you know, my TEDx talk and my salon with my daughter. I just I feel so uplifted by so many people. It's really incredible. So, if people want to get in touch with me, my website is alexcarteraskscom and you can find, like free resources and lots of information about the work I do. I'm also on LinkedIn and Instagram every day. If you look me up, alexandra Carter, you will find me. You can't miss me. I'm there every day posting motivational and inspirational content that, as you said, is rooted in equity, right, because part of this is realizing that, yes, there are some things we all have in common, right, our shared humanity, and we also always have different lived experiences, and I think that the beauty of our world is being able to truly see each other and all of each other. Right, the things that unite us, the different experiences we have, and learning from those, I think is really what is disruptive and breaks down those walls that you're working so hard to dismantle.

Speaker 1:

I love that. Well, thank you again, professor Carter, for joining me. Thank you for just really sharing your expertise and, from a personal and a professional level, this was a delightful conversation. I really encourage everyone to take the time to get to know her, check out her website and so forth. This is Dr BCW. As always, I'm always in my show with a level of gratitude, so thank you to everyone who took the time to listen to Beyond Clinical Walls. I am grateful. This is Dr BCW. Thank you.

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